By Alia - 2009
Disclaimer: These characters don't belong to me. Sadly Jon
and Malcolm are the property of Paramount. I am just playing with
them, and request you keep in mind that no disrespect or infringement
to copyright is intended.
Summary: Jon and Malcolm consummate their relationship.
Authors Notes: This ficlet is the sequel to Soon.
It is unbetaed and contains Australian spelling. All mistakes are
mine. Please feel free to point them out to me. Also, first times are
not always what we imagine. Often we envisage champagne and slow
dancing and forget that sometimes it's just about getting off with
the person the rocks your boat. It's doesn't mean they don’t love
you, it just means that it's easier to be romantic when the pressure
is off. Keep in mind that this fic is titled Now
for a reason.
Comments: Are welcome at firstname.lastname@example.org
I don't know why I am so nervous. It isn't as if I have never been
invited to the Captain's cabin. In the past I have often been
required to take my systems reports there and make myself available
to discuss any changes or upgrades.
Of course, that was before everything changed between us -- before
we were captured and condemned to death and before he told me that he
was in love with me and I had admitted the same to him.
Almost a month has passed since then, and despite various attempts
to talk about what, if anything has changed since our rescue and
return to Enterprise nothing has been settled.
What I do know is that Jonathan doesn't regret sharing his heart
with me even though the circumstances surrounding his confession were
somewhat unusual; he has indicated that he stands by what he has said
and that we would be together soon.
While not ideal, spending a good portion of the last two weeks
confined to the catwalk along with the rest of crew has given me a
chance to think about what I want should we embark on a relationship
that goes beyond what we have now and to observe him through
different eyes. Having Jonathan so close and yet so out of reach has
made me realise that although I was originally content to meet my
death without ever making love to him that was no longer the case.
With the storm now passed and life onboard Enterprise returning to
what passes as normal on board of a star ship there is nothing to
stand in our way. I still have some reservations about being worthy
of him, old fears of not being good enough as I make my way to
my cabin once my shift ends, but I push them aside as I go through
the motions of preparing myself for the night ahead of me.
It's been quite some time since I have been with anyone and I find
myself shaking ever so slightly as my anticipation grows steadily
throughout the process of showering and changing into something less
restricting than my uniform. Managing somehow to calm myself I
briefly consider sending a message to him to announce my estimated
time of arrival for tonight, but discard the idea as something that
may later reveal the change in our relationship. Starfleet
regulations prohibit Captain’s from forming intimate relationships
with their subordinates and I know that no matter what occurs between
us, tonight and in the future, it must remain a closely guarded
secret for Jonathan’s sake.
It is a sobering thought and I pause momentarily to stare at my
reflection in the monitor as I close the screen. I know I would never
hurt Jonathan, but I also know that there isn't anything that will
stop me from acting on what had grown between us, save Jonathan
himself. I want him and if he is willing to risk his career and
reputation to be with me, then there is nothing I wouldn’t allow.
The rational part of my mind tells me that this is why I am so
nervous. Because I can't ever recall feeling this way about anyone
before and after tonight I don’t think I am ever going to be the same
again. I know he’s only a man and I have had others, not many, but
enough to know that there can be an unspoken struggle for dominance.
I know it's not right, and that whatever intimate relationship I
forge with Jonathan it should be one of equal standing. It already
feels unbalanced though and for reasons I cannot explain I find
myself completely out of my depths.
I know I should be terrified and there is perhaps a small part of
me that is, it's not enough though, not near enough to stop me taking
one last look around my cabin and then going to the man who has
changed me so much already.
Standing in Jonathan's cabin a short while later is strangely
surreal. Almost like living out a fantasy that I never thought I
would see fulfilled.
He seems pleased by my appearance, smiling at me and commenting on
how long he has waited for this in a way that makes me feel shy at a
time in my life when I thought I was past such feelings.
I feel myself begin to shake again as the door slides shut behind
me, sealing out the rest of the world as he steps into my personal
space, a hand appearing from nowhere to caress and learn the contours
of my face as he presses his lips to mine for the first time,
stealing my breath and scattering my thoughts. For a first kiss it is
not at all tentative or chaste. Possessive and demanding would be a
more accurate description, a sign of things to come my mind whispers,
but I have no thought of calling a halt to it; this is what I
expected after all – to find myself consumed by his touch, body and
The kiss ends far too soon and almost without realising it I find
myself being led to Jonathan's bed, his fingers lingering at my
throat and his eyes dancing with promise as he guides to sit down on
There are so many things we needed to talk about, so many things I
still wanted to say to him but none of them seem important or
relevant now. I have given my consent after all by coming here.
Some formalities still seemed necessary though. “Is this alright?”
he asks standing up, hands already moving to the zipper on his
I nod once and he smiles in a way I have never seen before, eyes
hooded as he strips to the waist, his undershirt, removed in the
process, held expectantly at his side as I look at him. There is no
denying the fact that Jonathan is well built for a man of his years,
strong and very masculine, clearly proud and unreserved as he stands
before me, the prominent bulge in the front of his overalls leaving
no doubt to where this is headed.
Feeling less than confident I follow suit and carefully release
the fastenings on my shirt, letting it hang open, my breath catching
and my dick hardening further as he lets his undershirt drop to the
floor beside him and then moves to kneels in front of me, one strong
hand reaching between my legs, gently forcing them apart to knead me
through my slacks. It’s enough to make me want to cry out or to beg
for more. I don’t want to appear too needy or too unexperienced for
this kind of situation, because I am not, but I cannot resist the
inclination to spread my legs a little more, giving him better access
to what he clearly wants as he runs a finger along the length of my
I gasp at the not so subtle movement, the right amount of pressure
at just the right points making my dick ache for more -- for his
hand, or mouth to take over, I can’t decide which.
“I'm not sure what you like Malcolm? You'll have to tell me,” he
says un-expectantly. I wouldn’t have thought Jonathan capable of such
a sultry tone; though it’s not so much the words that leave me
impossibly tongue-tied, but the voice that is completely
unrecognisable. The air in his cabin seems oddly close, as if there
isn’t enough to go around. His hand stills as he waits for me to
answer and I feel lost.
I can barely think beyond the undeniable urge to drive my hips
forward, but somehow I manage a somewhat plaintive, “anything,” and
then, “please” as he guides me down on to my back. I kick my shoes
off and try to relax as his hands move to the zipper on my slacks.
Released from my cloth prison I breathe a sigh of relief as the
cool air hits my over heated flesh and then prop myself up on arms
that suddenly don't seem strong enough to support my weight to watch
him as he removes my slacks along with my underwear and dumps them on
the floor next to his shirt.
I feel very exposed, lying completing naked before him, vulnerable
and yet wanton at the same time. Wanting and needing him so much but
not knowing how exactly I should behave. I don't get the impression
Jonathan expects me to be the blushing virgin and yet it is very
clear this is as important to him as it is to me.
Jonathan steps back and I lower myself down again to rest against
the solidness of bed and to catch my breath, watching as he removes
his boots and then the rest of his uniform. I watch with appreciation
as he reveals himself to me. Once again seeing the self assured man
who knows he is very capable of the act we are about to commit.
He pauses briefly, drawing his shoulders back in a pose that
reminds me of the responsibilities he deals with every day and the
risk this carries when the remainder of his clothes lay scattered
with my own at his feet, welcoming my appraisal and giving the
opportunity to change my mind I guess. It is last thing on my mind
though. His body is covered in a light sear of perspiration, making
it shine from head to foot under the too bright lights of his cabin.
My mouth waters and my dick throb at the sight of him and for the
first time tonight I am not afraid.
Moving a little further up the bed I spread my legs, stroking my
dick once to release some of the discomfort and then reach for him.
He comes willingly, his strong hands moving to frame my face as our
bodies align for the greatest satisfaction and then stilling from the
initial shock of pleasure. I touch him, roaming over his chest and
back as he captures my mouth, swallowing my pleas for him to love me.
It is hot and lacking any real finesse, a tangle of limbs and lips
learning new territory, but it is so damn good I have tears in my
eyes by the time Jonathan stills above me and cries out his release.
The warmth of it fills the scant space between us, followed quickly
with one his hands, pulling at me and demanding that I follow after
him as he chokes out the same words he had used weeks ago.
Shaking from the experience of finally being able to make love and
what I realise is the delayed shock of almost being executed a tear
escapes my closed eyes. I feel Jonathan's weight shift and a kiss
pressed to my damp cheek.
“It's okay Malcolm, we're both safe now,” he whispers.
Despite what we have just done I'm still a little embarrassed by
the emotions welling inside of me, the love I feel for him along with
the fear of almost dying without ever really knowing him and it is
another moment or two before I open my eyes again.
Jonathan is staring down at me, a look of complete understanding I
didn't expect shining back at me.
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