Alia & Mareel
Disclaimer: The characters belong to Paramount and to one
Author's Notes: This is in response to the live journal
community 7_virtues challenge; 'Chastity' is prompt #4. Thank you to
Mareel for agreeing to share this adventure with me.
Comments: Alia & for Mareel
The worst part about being confined to this catwalk for the next
few days is the waiting -- waiting for the storm to pass, waiting for
any new signs of trouble from our fugitive 'guests'. Waiting for
I never thought waiting to be together would be this hard. I've
known for a long time now that my feelings for my armoury officer had
moved well beyond my initial interest and attraction to this most
reserved of men. I have fallen very much in love with him, and now
I that I know that these feeling are reciprocated, I want to see our
relationship grow and deepen.
The turning point was a few days ago, on that pre-warp planet
where Malcolm and I were captured as we searched for his missing
communicator. When it seemed certain that we were both probably
going to be executed as spies… as the hours ticked by with little
hope of ever seeing Enterprise again… I knew that this could be the
only chance I'd ever have to tell him what he meant to me. It was
hard enough to have to watch him trying to come to terms with his own
impending death; I couldn't let him go to that death without knowing
how much he was loved.
So, as we sat close together on the narrow bunk, I found the words
to tell him. As I searched his eyes, trying to read his reaction to
my confession, he silently moved his own hand to cover mine as it
rested on my thigh. I turned my hand and our fingers threaded
together, still in silence. That simple touch and the light in his
eyes were all the answer I needed, and I bridged the small distance
between us to kiss him very softly. I have no way to put into words
what that kiss meant to me. I can only say he returned it, and I
felt as if we could both die with the knowledge that we hadn't left
something unsaid to one another.
As much as I would like to have wrapped him tightly in my arms
just to hold him close, I don't think either of us wanted to put on a
show for the guards whom we knew wouldn't be far away. But our hands
remained joined and we spoke quietly of everything and nothing, as if
we had the rest of our lives together.
And now we do. Back on Enterprise after our rescue, I lay on my
bed and wondered what the next step would or should be. I
desperately hoped that Malcolm wouldn't retreat into himself or
dismiss what had happened as something born of the expectation of
never seeing another morning. But I still couldn't bring myself to
go to his quarters or seek him out. I'd said all I could; we would
have to wait for the right time to come together. I did promise
myself it wouldn't be too long; I'd make sure that he knew I'd meant
all I'd said - that he was in my heart, and I needed him in my arms,
in my bed, and in my life.
But life on a starship is unpredictable at best, and before we
could manage any time alone together we find ourselves sheltering on
a catwalk in close proximity to the entire crew. Not the kind of
enforced chastity I'd expected when I'd kissed him in that cell as a
promise of much more.
Throughout this whole storm crisis, I've been trying to be sure
the captain is visible and available to the crew. We're all in this
together and they are handling the situation better than I might have
expected. Of course, my deliberate visibility is also a chance to
see Malcolm, to make sure he's okay and knows I've not forgotten
about us. As if that were possible. In lieu of being with Malcolm
in my off-duty time, I've tried to distract myself in any way
possible -- with water polo vids, by fussing over Porthos, by
bantering with T'Pol about how to fraternize. I don't know how much
she knows or suspects - but I'm probably not that hard to read, even
for a Vulcan. After all, I do have to practically climb over her to
get out for my frequent walkabouts. And not even Porthos really
needs a walk that often.
Speaking of which, I think it's time for another stroll. Malcolm
didn't look like he was feeling too well earlier today; it wouldn't
be a bad idea to make sure he's better. I toss aside the padd I'd
been trying to read and slip away from the makeshift command center,
making my way down the catwalk toward the aft section where he's
bunking. Trust Malcolm to find a spot where he can keep an eye on
Most of the crew is trying to sleep at this hour, but part of me
is hoping maybe he'll still be awake. And he is, sitting alone
leaning against a bulkhead, almost as if keeping watch. I don't know
if he sees me yet, and I take a moment just to study him. Even in
his rumpled uniform, he has still managed to look professional and
definitely looks less queasy than he did this afternoon. In fact, he
looks wonderful to me, and I have to redirect my thoughts before I
I sink to the deck to sit beside him, hoping that the dim light
might keep this from feeling as public as it is. He greets me
softly as "Captain" but the light is in his eyes again and it holds a
welcome. My hand finds his and I squeeze it tightly. His hand is
warm as I slowly stroke my thumb across his palm. It's all the touch
we can risk right now, but somehow it is almost enough.
"Soon, Malcolm. I promise."
I have never been overly comfortable being the centre of
attention, although I can't say that the captain's attention is
unwelcome - far from it in fact, it's just that while the entire crew
is confined to the catwalk there is nothing I can do about it. No way
of letting him know that despite the many things already said and the
sheer madness of the last few days I wanted more than anything to
continue what we had begun during the communicator incident.
It seems like it was a very long time ago now that we were
captives on the alien planet, even though I know that it has only
been a couple of days since Jonathan told me that he was in love with
me. Faced with our imminent execution as spies his disclosure had
felt unreal to begin with, as if I had somehow imagined it.
To be honest the dynamics between Captain Archer and myself had
been a little unusual from the very beginning of my time on
Enterprise. Coupled with everything that happened since we'd come
down to the planet it wouldn't have surprised me to discover I had
dreamt the whole scenario of him sitting beside me on the small bunk,
telling me he was in love with me, as a way of coping with the
Jonathan had assured me I wasn't dreaming though and once I found
the courage to accept what he was saying and admit that I returned
his feelings, and had for a very long time, I also felt I needed to
explain why I hadn't said anything to him earlier. Why, like him, I
had waited until we were both faced with death before I revealed
myself to him.
Fortunately, most of what I had to say, he understood.
Amongst other things my upbringing and training strictly forbade
fraternizing with superiors. Also, I had realised pretty early on
that my less than fitting reactions to his sometimes apparent
disregard for Star Fleet regulations were not due to any failings on
his part, or disrespect on my own, but because I was finding him
increasingly attractive. I knew it was wrong; familiarity within the
ranks blurred the boundaries too much to maintain proper discipline
and could never be allowed. The fact that he seemed to have very
different ideas about what actually constituted fraternization with
his subordinates also left me confused on more than one occasion and
I had spent many nights alone in my cabin trying to decide what, if
anything I should do about my feelings for him. By the time we'd
encountered the mine field I had decided it was better not to say
anything at all for fear of making a fool of myself, or worse still,
embarrassing my family.
I recall Jonathan had nodded slowly when I had finished my
explanation, gently squeezing my hand and then carefully guiding me
down to lay beside him on my bunk. I could feel the desire to do more
than just talk radiating from him, but with the guards close by I
also understood he would not risk our safety further. At the time it
seemed fitting that we find our comfort this way, unblemished by the
need for physical proof. I was content just to lay beside him, happy,
I think for the first time in my life.
We had then spent what was meant to be our last hours discussing
what might have been, each confident in the knowledge that with the
dawning of the new day we would die beside the man we loved.
I must admit, everything after that is a bit of a blur.
One minute I was readying myself to meet my fate head on and the
next we were being rescued and returned to Enterprise. No sooner had
we been checked over by Phlox and permitted to resume our duties we
were informed of the storm that has forced the crew to seek refuge
here, in the catwalk.
It hasn't been an easy time for any of us. Our current cramped
conditions are less than ideal for men and women who are very used to
their own space, not to mention the continual rocking of the ship by
the storm raging outside make it near on impossible to perform even
the simplest of tasks. Steps have been taken to make everyone as
comfortable as possible though, and I know that the captain's
frequent presence has been especially reassuring to all members of
crew, myself included.
I smile at him now; enjoying the touch of his hand as he gently
caresses my own, glad that we have found a few minutes alone in
amongst the chaos surrounding us. He promises me we will be together
soon and I cannot hide the flush that creeps up to colour my cheeks.
I don't know if Jonathan realises it or not but I have never felt
this way with anyone else and I am not completely sure how I should
behave with him. In spite of my initial reservations, he has proven
himself to be a man worthy of his rank and responsibilities. I can
only hope now that when the time finally comes for us to be together
that I am worthy of him.
Enterprise Page.Fiction Page.
Website Design and Code © Alia