We can't go Back

By Alia.

Disclaimer: Sam and Al do not belong to me. No infringement to copyright or disrespect intended.

Summary: Because life must go on.

Rated: G for general slash.

Author's Notes: Flash fiction written in response to a personal challenge. I should probably add a warning for lots of personal metaphors but I guess if you are reading this you probably don't care. Please keep in mind that it is unbetaed and contains Australian spelling. In other words all mistakes are my own.

Comments: Can be sent to aliajones1999@yahoo.com


The truth is with so much going on I do not hear the door to our suite open and then close again. It has been a very long time since I have had the opportunity to see my own reflection or to stop and reflect on all that has occurred since I have been gone.

Al tells me I have helped more than two hundred different individuals and that is not including the other lives indirectly affected by my leaping. Even Ziggy, he says, is having difficulty settling on a final figure because it keeps changing. It is all for the better I am told, yet all I can think about is that I have been gone far too long.

The evidence of which is all around me, and for the moment, right in front of me. Saying I barely recognise the man staring back at me would be stretching the truth, but still. The familiar white streak in my hair is almost undetectable in amongst all the grey and I have a life time of lines, worry lines my mother would have called them, adorning what seems like every inch of my face.

Reaching up I trace the most prominent lines under my eyes with my finger tips. I am not sure what I am trying to prove or hoping to change by doing so, but it is only when Al suddenly appears in the mirror beside me that I am reminded once again that I am not the only one to grow old in my absence.

"Whatcha doin' kid?" he asks.

As far back as I can remember Al has always called me kid. It does not seem to matter to him that I am older than he was when we first met over twenty five years ago, or that if I had not spent the better part of the last decade leaping around in time I would be older enough to be a grandfather. Still the light in his eyes and the affection in his voice make me smile the way they always have and I drop my hand back down to my side to reach for one of his, happier than I can express that I am here with him now - that I made it home in time.

Al's hand is warm and strong, reminiscent of the bond we have shared over the years and how much I have missed being able to touch him. "Just trying to figure out where all the time went," I tell him.

The aged and much loved man beside me turns slightly, forcing my view from the mirror so that I am looking directly into his now serious eyes.

"Does it matter Sam? We can't go back ya know."

I shake my head, unsure how I should respond. Theories of why I have suddenly leaped home after years of failed attempts to retrieve me are still being discussed. I have my own theory of course but none of it seems important.

"I guess not," I manager. "I am here now and that is all that matters."

Al's smile and the gentle squeezing of my hand tell me I have given the right answer and there is no more to say on the subject. Life goes on and despite the demands of others and the world around us we would simply deal with whatever lies ahead together.



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